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shinyglorchanNice little wave of depression tonight. And a on a fucking Thursday when my mom's not home to bother. I hate Thursdays. Heather-chan's at band all day, Jul-chan never wants to talk on the phone, M-chan is never there and I haven't seen her for years, Mom's not home to watch soaps with me to keep me sane, and I kinda feel like crying.
I'm not going to chess club tomorrow. It sucked last week and Marie won't be there to pester and he awesome sister won't be there either. And I think today my old crush kinda came back to me for a few seconds. That pissed me off a lot. He's my goddamn friend and I like it that way but I think too much and everything explodes. *sighs*
And on the subject of thinking too much, I swear I'm the most paranoid person ever. I think someone likes me then I think (read as: KNOW) Heather's mom hates me and they have caller id. They almost NEVER pick up when I call. They can't just NEVER be home! And I called for my cell and she answered and asked who it was! Goddamn her mom! She makes me really paranoid and I fucking hate it.
And my sleep schedule is so fucked up I never get any work done. I can't do my art becuase I'm just to depressed to get any joy out of it... I should write my ideas down so I don't forget... And you know what's a really bad combination in art? Laziness, procrastination, and perfectionism. It means I'll NEVER get my art done.
Let's see, I have at least one asshole in all of my classes and they all seem to be acting up this week, ESPECIALLY on V-day. Fuck that. They can all die. Along with Wigoff 'cause cursing doesn't warrent ten demerits, I don't care what the fucking slip says. Would they had rather me get my anger out with useless words or with my fists and claws? I would have fucked someone pretty bad with how pissed I was. But i guess cursing is just as bad as smoking and defacing school property. *rolls eyes* I swear that school is full of shit.
*breaths out* And I don't even know if my Saturday's free or not becuase of Heather and she's one of my best friends but she's causing me a lot of unnescessary paranoia and turmoil. And I think I should go try to kill things in my video games before I have to return them.
And I've been listening to the same song over and over and it won't get the fuck out of my head. It's kinda a depressing song so it's not helping my fucking mood.
So, if you had to hold a table upside down that had an hourglass glued to keep yourself from dying, would you do it? >>;; Only good part of the day was that ^ with Jen this morning. It was funny. >>;;
'Life's like an hourglass glued to the table' is lyrics in this song and I thought 'Just tturn the table over so the housrglass doesn't run out!' >>;; I'm an idiot, whatever.
Oh, friend list for Megan!
Heather-chan = Kimi-chan = Manatee obsessive thing of doom, Gravi obsessed and the Heather I always talks about + band geek of doom.
Julia = Jul-chan = Likes angst, got her obsessed with Naruto, hates yaoi with a passion unless it's canon (I'll fix that), mom has cancer, hates talking on the phone and hates when I call every night and goes to an all girls school.
Melissa = M-chan = Ditzy one who really would like to get to know my school friend but hasn't seen my for almost 3 years, likes Kingdom Hearts, little brother like KH too and thinks I'm cool (insane child).
Heather B. = Stein = Dr. Heather = Other Heather, has an LJ somewhere but never updates, I don't talk to her much, loves Inuyasha, goes to the same all girls' school as Jul-chan, haven't seen her since last summer.
Zak = only guy friend sorta from camp, is weird, is friend's with Christian, goes to school with him, wierd dude. Likes Dreamtheater.
List will be finished when I'm finished crying...
I'm not going to chess club tomorrow. It sucked last week and Marie won't be there to pester and he awesome sister won't be there either. And I think today my old crush kinda came back to me for a few seconds. That pissed me off a lot. He's my goddamn friend and I like it that way but I think too much and everything explodes. *sighs*
And on the subject of thinking too much, I swear I'm the most paranoid person ever. I think someone likes me then I think (read as: KNOW) Heather's mom hates me and they have caller id. They almost NEVER pick up when I call. They can't just NEVER be home! And I called for my cell and she answered and asked who it was! Goddamn her mom! She makes me really paranoid and I fucking hate it.
And my sleep schedule is so fucked up I never get any work done. I can't do my art becuase I'm just to depressed to get any joy out of it... I should write my ideas down so I don't forget... And you know what's a really bad combination in art? Laziness, procrastination, and perfectionism. It means I'll NEVER get my art done.
Let's see, I have at least one asshole in all of my classes and they all seem to be acting up this week, ESPECIALLY on V-day. Fuck that. They can all die. Along with Wigoff 'cause cursing doesn't warrent ten demerits, I don't care what the fucking slip says. Would they had rather me get my anger out with useless words or with my fists and claws? I would have fucked someone pretty bad with how pissed I was. But i guess cursing is just as bad as smoking and defacing school property. *rolls eyes* I swear that school is full of shit.
*breaths out* And I don't even know if my Saturday's free or not becuase of Heather and she's one of my best friends but she's causing me a lot of unnescessary paranoia and turmoil. And I think I should go try to kill things in my video games before I have to return them.
And I've been listening to the same song over and over and it won't get the fuck out of my head. It's kinda a depressing song so it's not helping my fucking mood.
So, if you had to hold a table upside down that had an hourglass glued to keep yourself from dying, would you do it? >>;; Only good part of the day was that ^ with Jen this morning. It was funny. >>;;
'Life's like an hourglass glued to the table' is lyrics in this song and I thought 'Just tturn the table over so the housrglass doesn't run out!' >>;; I'm an idiot, whatever.
Oh, friend list for Megan!
Heather-chan = Kimi-chan = Manatee obsessive thing of doom, Gravi obsessed and the Heather I always talks about + band geek of doom.
Julia = Jul-chan = Likes angst, got her obsessed with Naruto, hates yaoi with a passion unless it's canon (I'll fix that), mom has cancer, hates talking on the phone and hates when I call every night and goes to an all girls school.
Melissa = M-chan = Ditzy one who really would like to get to know my school friend but hasn't seen my for almost 3 years, likes Kingdom Hearts, little brother like KH too and thinks I'm cool (insane child).
Heather B. = Stein = Dr. Heather = Other Heather, has an LJ somewhere but never updates, I don't talk to her much, loves Inuyasha, goes to the same all girls' school as Jul-chan, haven't seen her since last summer.
Zak = only guy friend sorta from camp, is weird, is friend's with Christian, goes to school with him, wierd dude. Likes Dreamtheater.
List will be finished when I'm finished crying...
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Date: 2006-02-21 02:34 pm (UTC)...but that song makes you confusing to me, so I'll shut up now.