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Today is the day for sheer ridiculousness. Give me 1-3 of the crackiest, most outrageous, least likely to ever actually happen pairings and/or scenarios you can think of, and I'll write you a snippet of at least one of them.

...somehow, I bet I can turn it more cracktastic than you thought it could be. >>;; *coughs* As usual, more likely to get a response with DCU prompts.

Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Hiroko Kokubu - 1000 Words (piano)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

pervyficgirl.livejournal.com

1. Tim/the Batmobile: The car is actually sentient, and it's a love that dare not speak its name.

2. Kon is Pinocchio, built by Batman. He just wants to be a real boy!

3. Mia/Jason: As Arrow-mite and Bat-mite, crankily in love and keeping a close watch over the Arrows and Bats.

From:

shiny-glor-chan.livejournal.com

(You know what? Might as well have an author note since I'm over by 81 characters without it, and I'm deleted anything, dammit! Kon gets Robin action everywhere? I say that's an apt summary of this fic. >>;; )

Kon wasn't very happy living in the Batcave. The only highlights to his day were Robins. This being plural because since he never aged as a puppet, he easily lived through four Robins.

The first one had made lots of puns, and his ass looked amazing in the short-pants. They became friends and shared jokes. Kon thought just being around Dick made him feel like a real boy.

Dick was nice to Kon over the years, until Batman fired him, and Dick left to become Nightwing. Dick had been so angry at Batman that it had taken a long time to even visit the Batcave again.

The only reason Dick came to visit wasn't to visit Kon. No, he had been angry at the emergence of a new Robin. Dick didn't even notice when Kon had tried to say hi. Kon frowned and went upstairs to the manor to brood since Batman and Nightwing were yelling and making the Batcave unbearable.

That was when he really ran into the second Robin. Jason asked what was going on Kon explained what was going on downstairs in the cave. Jason frowned, started asking if Dick wanted Robin back. Kon shook his head, and Jason looked relieve before grinning, taking Kon's hand to drag him upstairs.

Once Kon started getting close to Jason, Jason ran off to find his real mother and never came back. It took a few months for Kon to find out why there was a memorial in the cave that called Jason a good soldier.

After that, he met Tim. He wasn't Robin yet, but the fact that he was a black haired, blue eyed boy in the Batcave pretty much guaranteed that Tim would be. Kon was kind of tired of getting close to Robins then them leaving, so he actively avoided Tim.

Eventually, avoiding Tim became an issue when Tim started to get curious about the sentient puppet boy that Batman kept in the Batcave. Once Kon started talking to Tim, he figured out that Tim knew everything about Kon, down to the fact that he wanted to be a real boy. Kon didn't like that fact that Tim knew everything about him, but Kon knew pretty much nothing about Tim.

After a lot of attempts to figure out what made Tim tick, Kon gave up. That was until Tim asked him to join his team Young Justice. Kon said Batman would never let him out of the cave, but Tim just smirked, saying that he never would have brought it up if he hadn't convinced Batman first.

Kon loved being part of Young Justice. He made lots of new friends, and they all fought together, not caring that he was wooden puppet that talked. It was great. Then, their team disbanded. Most of them joined the Teen Titans with him and Tim, but a few them just never talked to them again. It made Kon sad, but he didn't really have time to think about that since Tim had found out how to make Kon real boy.

He just laughed when Tim told him 'true love's first kiss.' Tim looked pretty pissed that Kon would think he made it up, but he couldn't help it. That had to be the silliest thing he had ever heard, and he lived in the Batcave when Batman thought wearing a rainbow Batsuit would be a good distraction from a broken arm.

So, to prove he believed what Tim said, Kon started dating Cassie. Her kiss didn't work, and Kon didn't really know what to do because soon after, Tim stopped being Robin. In a fit of something Kon couldn't quite name, Kon made it back to the Batcave.

From:

shiny-glor-chan.livejournal.com

That was when he met the fourth Robin. Kon didn't like her. She dated Tim then stole his job? No way was that going to fly with him, so he was rude to Steph to keep her away. A few weeks after Batman fired her and Kon was grinning about it since Tim had taken the Robin mantle again, Steph died. Kon felt horrible for every bad thing he said about her.

After the Gang Wars calmed down, Kon comforted Tim the best he could about Steph. Tim told him how much he missed her, tears running down his cheeks. Kon never saw Tim cry, so he just pulled him into a tight hug, wiping away his tears. Tim looked up at him with blurry eyes before pulling Kon into a desperate kiss.

When the kiss ended, Kon was left gasping for air he didn't need. Kon blinked, bringing his hands to his face. He was a real boy which made him grin at Tim before hugging him with murmurs of thank you. Tim smiled a little before pulling away. Kon asked him if it would be too soon to ask him out, and Tim shook his head, saying Steph would have wanted him to be happy, not wallow over her death.

And they lived happily ever after...

(...until Jason comes back from the dead for a piece of real boy Kon ass, and Steph comes back to drag Tim with her for some fun times. To solve the problem, Kon decides he should just get all the Robins. The Robins present agree, and they go to get Dick so Kon can have a Robin orgy. The end, for reals this time.)

From:

oldestrobin.livejournal.com

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

I loved this! <3! I love that Dick and Tim were who Kon bonded with the most. Poor, silly Dick and poor, Tim.

And of course it was Tim's true love kiss that made him a real boy! ;)

-Pervy, who is too lazy to sign out of her rp account.