DCU Fanfic: Awkward Girl Talk

[shinyglorchan]

Title: Awkward Girl Talk
Fandom: DCU
Character(s): Cass, Steph
Pairing(s): Steph/Tim
Word Count: 377
Genre: general/humor
Rating: PG-13/T
Notes: This one is for drabblewriter's Prompt: any, any, "If you have sex, you will get pregnant and die!" Steph talks with Cass about how Tim and her are going to finally move their relationship to the 'next level.' Cass has an adverse reaction.
Link: comment_fic

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Steph was all smiles, and Cass didn’t even need to read her body language or see her face to know it. “You are happy,” she stated, dropping down behind Steph.

The happy girl twirled around to face Cass, her eggplant colored cape fluttering around her. “Hey! I am! And we totally need to girl talk!” she exclaimed, gesturing for Cass to sit next to her on the ledge of the building they were on.

Cass hesitated before sliding onto the ledge next to Steph. “Girl talk?” she questioned.

Steph nodded excitedly. “Don’t tell anyone, but Tim’s finally ready to take our relationship to the next level!”

“Next level...?” Cass asked curiously.

“Oh yeah, I forget sometimes you don’t know all the sayings I know,” Steph said apologetically. “Tim and I are planning to have sex tonight, after patrol.”

Cass’ eyes widened behind her cowl, and she shook her head wildly. “No!” she shouted, clinging to Steph’s arm. “You can’t.”

Steph pulled back her hood and face mask to give Cass a quizzical look. “And why not?”

"Because! Because if you have sex, you will get pregnant and die!" Cass exclaimed, completely serious and worried.

For a moment, Steph just stared at Cass blankly. “You can’t be serious,” she stated, but after a long moment, Steph wasn’t so sure. “Cass? Who told you that?”

“The television, but-!” she started, making sure Steph didn’t interrupt. “I asked Batman, and he didn’t tell me...otherwise?”

Steph scowled. “Batman? Argh, he’s so-! I’m gonna...” she trailed off and just made a frustrated noise. “Cass, am I dead?”

Cass blinked and shook her head. “No.”

“And remember when I told you I was pregnant once?” Another nod. “And look, here I am. I had sex, got pregnant, and didn’t die. I think you need to talk to Batman about this again. ...a nice long talk. Make sure he tells you everything, okay?”

“Okay,” Cass replied, letting go of Steph’s arm. “I’m sorry...about this?”

Steph smiled. “It’s okay, just makes sure to have the talk with B-man, and I’ll be fine.”

Cass nodded, and Steph grinned because just thinking about Batman trying to give The Talk to an inquisitive Cass was more than enough to make up for an almost ruined evening.

Comments

[milleniumrex.livejournal.com]

Ha! Awww...poor Cass, you do not go to Batman for sex ed. XD

[shiny-glor-chan.livejournal.com]

Poor Cass. Lead astray. XD

[kitty-writer.livejournal.com]

I dont know if you have, I should probably of checked before I ask but...If you haven't written a piece of Cass going to ask Batman about sex, do you mind if I write one?

[shiny-glor-chan.livejournal.com]

I probably won't remember to, no. If you want to, go ahead. No one's stopping you.

[larsinger29.livejournal.com]

Lol, poor Cass! Going to Batman to talk about sex ed is like talking to your dad, it just isn't going to work! I love Steph setting her straight though. Too funny!

[shiny-glor-chan.livejournal.com]

Lol, not at all. Yes, Steph tends to do that. XD

[saavikam77.livejournal.com]

*cracks up* XD Batman is definitely in for it. :p

[shiny-glor-chan.livejournal.com]

He is~ >:D And we all know how I like knowing Batman's uncomfortable~ XD

[littlemissgriff.livejournal.com]

*facepalms*

I-Just-no.

*facepalms*

[shiny-glor-chan.livejournal.com]

Hahaha. Best reaction ever? XD

[ladyblkrose.livejournal.com]

Why or why do they insist on making Bruce work outside of his areas of expertise. I mean it's like asking the celebate leader of a major religion that preaches abstinance explain the joys of blowjobs. Awkward, party of two? your table's ready.

[shiny-glor-chan.livejournal.com]

*snorts* It's true, but I just love making Bruce awkward. 'Specially since Cass isn't going to feel as much awkward as know Bruce is. XD

[oroburos69.livejournal.com]

This killed me, especially Steph sending Cass back to Batman as vengeance for the awkward. Poor Bruce.

[shiny-glor-chan.livejournal.com]

It's what Steph would do. Batman will not cockblock her. XD